Log Entry #2: Adventures in Skill Refinement

"Girl in the Scarlet Shroud"

   So today I remembered something I heard in a TEDTalk. I don't remember the exact title, but the talk had to do with what it takes to get good at anything you'd like to be good at...something like it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an "expert" or whatever. The point was made that in the beginning of practicing anything, you go through this stage where you feel awkward, uncomfortable, and in general you feel like the biggest idiot ever. They said that stage is one you have to push through to get comfortable with whatever skill your trying to learn. 

  I can attest to this fact. It doesn't matter what the skill is, whether it's sports, art, or whatever, you go through the "I'm a huge loser" phase. What brought this to mind today was the fact that I decided to bite the bullet and do a colored pencil portrait that I was going to post on my blog, regardless of how it turned out. (The above photo is the finished product) I've done portraits before, but they're not the easiest thing. Adding color to a portrait makes it all the more difficult sometimes, because you can get so easily lost in the many shades you use to make a clean gradient between colors. A monochromatic portrait's shadows are simpler in the fact that you just have to layer the graphite or charcoal till it's dark enough, and blending is cake. 

  I mentioned last post that this blog was going to be my way of forcing myself to be positive about my work, and even after just one entry I can see the improvement in my attitude toward trying new things...Maybe it's just the fact the portrait turned out so well that I feel this way, but whatever. I'm happy nonetheless. However, not every attempt at skill refinement has been so easy for me. I'm still in the "I'm an idiot" phase in a lot of things: Plants, foreshortening, proper perspective, and clothes are just a few of the things in an uncomfortably long list of skills I need to hone. Forcing myself to draw something that I know I stink at is always uncomfortable. 

   And it's not just my art that hurts to practice. One of my other hobbies that I adore is tabletop gaming, and I'm trying my very best to be a great Game Master. I watch videos on character development, player management, improvisation, and voice acting, but it doesn't matter. Just cramming your head with tips and tricks doesn't magically change your skill...I stink at GMming, at least in my eyes, and compared to Dungeons & Dragons gods like Matt Mercer from YouTube's Critical Role (Check them out, he's friggin' awesome if you like Tabletop RPGs) 

  But again, I must remember that Matt Mercer didn't start off a GMming god... he's been running games since forever. He makes acting out NPCs believably, running theatrical combat, and immersive story-lines seem effortless. I as a new GM can say it's not. 

   Not at all.

   It's clumsy, and awkward, and REALLY HARD TO COMMAND A TABLE. 

   But that's okay. I'm NEW. Just as I'm new to portraits, to comics, to plants, ect. I have to tell myself it's okay to feel dumb. I'm not dumb, and my work is not trash. While not all my attempts will turn out so well as the portrait at the top of the page, they all will teach me something. They all will show me exactly where I'm weak and they give me something to strive for. Just gotta keep moving forward, and not get bogged down in grinding away 10,000 hours on my way to expert and professional status. 

End Transmission.